Worst Poker Players in the World...by Texter

A couple weeks ago I read a book called Hunting Fish - A Cross-Country Search for America's Worst Poker Players by Jay Greenspan. In the book Jay basically goes on a 3 month journey across the country to raise a large enough bankroll to play in one of the bigger games out in California. He is trying to figure out if he has the poker "chops" to become a poker pro, he even makes a stop in my hometown of Houston, Texas. If you're a poker book junky you may want to check it, if not then you should probably give it a pass since there are other books you should check out first (Positively Fifth Street for one).
Well Jay, I think I've found the worst poker players...let me give you two words...Cruise Ship! I went on a 7 day Caribbean cruise with my wife and played 3 sessions of poker against the worst players I have ever seen. Unfortunately, the ship only had one poker table and the game spread was $5/$10 Limit Hold'em (the first night was $3/$6 to entice people to try it out). I basically played by the book pre-flop unless I was on the button, then I would play pretty much any hand that held some promise.
It was no-fold'em hold'em at it's finest, guys would call raises and re-raises on the river with bottom pair low kicker...it was beautiful. Unfortunately, this style of poker will lead to some wicked beats, I had my Aces cracked by 10-6 offsuit when the turn and river came Ten, Ten, but overall it was pretty much like printing money. One night I was down to $16 and was starting to steam a little when I had a vision of Phil Hellmuth in my head telling me to stay patient...sure enough on my next button I get KT and more than triple up to $89 when I get a King on the flop and River. The cards finally start coming and when they shut down the table I walk off with $485.
I ended up winning each session I played and had fantasies of living on this ship and just paying my way by fleecing the tourists...my wife vetoed that idea. I think the lethal combination of too much sun and fruity cocktails did more to pad my bankroll than my skillful play, face it these guys are on vacation and want to have fun...so if I thought a bad player was about to quit or was playing too well, I'd buy them a drink with their money and that would basically force them to stay a couple more rounds or play worse. So if you want to make some easy money...take a cruise...